Being Kind is Not Natural
Being KIND is not natural.
Everywhere I look I see these similar sentiments.
Choose Kind
Be Kind
If you can be anything, be kind.
Sound familiar?
Really, why would we need so many reminders about being kind? The truth is because we are not wired to be kind. Think about it.
Growing up, we teach our kids to play sports. We teach them sportsmanship and how to treat others in the game; how not to be a sore loser. AT the same time, we teach them that competition is important and so is winning. We teach them that to win and make the team we need to be better than everyone else.
In school, we teach them that being a good student means getting a good grade. We give awards to students for being the top achiever. Don't get me wrong, schools try to teach students how to get along for the sake of collaboration. Yet, we assign grade point averages and we award only the top performers. We value being the best in school and equate it with being successful in life.
In the workplace, we thrive on competition and being the best producer. The top producer gets the bonus and the prime parking space. We reward him/her with promotions and fancy titles.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that we don't encourage caring and respect. We do.
But more often than not, we don't value treating others with kindness. We rarely recognize it. We rarely award it. We don't promote kind people. We don't give them rewards for being kind.
That's why we have to constantly remind people to Choose Kind or Be Kind.
So let's be real. I see it every day in my workplace in my child's school and extracurricular activities.
Just this weekend someone said to me, "I would do it but not if it's that person (insert name) in the group." Her response was triggered by my willingness to join a group with a leader and only one other person. I asked, "Wouldn't you join in if the leader asked you?" Okay, so maybe I don't know the history between these two ladies. However, it wasn't even a work-related group. It was for fun! I also witnessed the same person speaking kindly to a person who is disliked and made fun of for being different. Then right after speaking to this person she turns around and makes fun of that same person with her friends.
Yes, this is real life. This scene is no different than many others that I witness more often than I'd like to. Sadly, I see this type of behavior among girls and women more than I do men. I'm not saying it doesn't happen with men. I just don't see it as much.
We even have a movie called "Mean Girls"!
All the slogans about being kind are great. But, being kind starts at home. We learn what we live. I wonder if mean girls have mean moms? Or do mean boys have mean dads? Think about it. How do your children learn to treat others? Do you encourage and praise kind words and kind behavior? Do you treat your spouse, children, friends, strangers with kindness? I have to admit I need to do better as a parent too.
Yes, it starts with me. Really, it does.
Remember, if you can be anything, be kind... because kindness counts!
Everywhere I look I see these similar sentiments.
Choose Kind
Be Kind
If you can be anything, be kind.
Sound familiar?
Really, why would we need so many reminders about being kind? The truth is because we are not wired to be kind. Think about it.
Growing up, we teach our kids to play sports. We teach them sportsmanship and how to treat others in the game; how not to be a sore loser. AT the same time, we teach them that competition is important and so is winning. We teach them that to win and make the team we need to be better than everyone else.
In school, we teach them that being a good student means getting a good grade. We give awards to students for being the top achiever. Don't get me wrong, schools try to teach students how to get along for the sake of collaboration. Yet, we assign grade point averages and we award only the top performers. We value being the best in school and equate it with being successful in life.
In the workplace, we thrive on competition and being the best producer. The top producer gets the bonus and the prime parking space. We reward him/her with promotions and fancy titles.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that we don't encourage caring and respect. We do.
But more often than not, we don't value treating others with kindness. We rarely recognize it. We rarely award it. We don't promote kind people. We don't give them rewards for being kind.
That's why we have to constantly remind people to Choose Kind or Be Kind.
So let's be real. I see it every day in my workplace in my child's school and extracurricular activities.
Just this weekend someone said to me, "I would do it but not if it's that person (insert name) in the group." Her response was triggered by my willingness to join a group with a leader and only one other person. I asked, "Wouldn't you join in if the leader asked you?" Okay, so maybe I don't know the history between these two ladies. However, it wasn't even a work-related group. It was for fun! I also witnessed the same person speaking kindly to a person who is disliked and made fun of for being different. Then right after speaking to this person she turns around and makes fun of that same person with her friends.
Yes, this is real life. This scene is no different than many others that I witness more often than I'd like to. Sadly, I see this type of behavior among girls and women more than I do men. I'm not saying it doesn't happen with men. I just don't see it as much.
We even have a movie called "Mean Girls"!
All the slogans about being kind are great. But, being kind starts at home. We learn what we live. I wonder if mean girls have mean moms? Or do mean boys have mean dads? Think about it. How do your children learn to treat others? Do you encourage and praise kind words and kind behavior? Do you treat your spouse, children, friends, strangers with kindness? I have to admit I need to do better as a parent too.
Yes, it starts with me. Really, it does.
Remember, if you can be anything, be kind... because kindness counts!
Comments
Post a Comment